Now and Then
by Nevilla
Summary: Second chapter is up!! James and Sirius take revenge on Snape and Harry tries his best with Ginny...
1. Default Chapter

Now and Then  
  
She clambered up the stairs, barely making it to my door before she burst into tears. Severus. He was so stupid. Just because he was a year older…  
Lily Evans jerked the dormitory door open and threw herself onto her bed and proceeded to start ragging out large sobs. She should have been at dinner, but she couldn't go, she just couldn't go, not with the Slytherins there. Stupid Slytherins. Stupid Severus. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If there were just something she could do. She couldn't believe he did that.  
Today, in Potions, he had written all over the blackboard 'Lily loves James' in big, bold chalky letters and bewitched it to sparkle bright yellow. She couldn't believe. Was it her fault she couldn't get over James Potter? No. She'd liked him since the second week of their first year, at flying lessons. He was just so funny and popular and cute and smart and good at everything it seemed. And now they were in their fifth year and she couldn't help but still like him. Like him a lot. A whole lot.   
Of course, he had always known, but now he REALLY knew. Everybody knew. Everybody. She could have just crawled up and died right then and there. Everyone was laughing and laughing and laughing and James kept getting redder and redder and shrinking into his desk, as if even knowing that bookworm freak liked him embarrassed him. Oh, if only she were dead, if only she were dead.  
She rolled over on her side after a while and stared at the wall, thinking over and over again how she could never go back out and face everyone again. Especially James. How would she do it? How would she do it??  
Suddenly, she heard Katrina coming inside. Katrina was a gossipy girl in her grade that shared the dorm. Lily harshly wished her face wasn't plastered with dried tears and new ones rolling down and desperately tried to make her shoulders stop shaking and pretend to be asleep.  
"Oh, Lily," Katrina voice drawled out, "It's alright. James is a nice boy. But…he just doesn't like you. Maybe you should go for someone more your style. I mean, you're so timid and book-smart and he's so sporty and, well, popular. Why don't you and Peter hook up? You'd be perfect." She began to catch on that Lily wasn't going to talk or even look at her, she sighed and walked out, closing the door with a sharp click that seemed to say, 'James is mine, anyway.'  
Katrina liked all the popular boys, especially Sirius. Then Remus and then James. James was just third place for Katrina. Just third. How could anyone put someone like James in third place??  
  
  
Harry stared out at the lake. It being his fifth year, Voldemort had indeed come back. It was half-way through the year, almost Christmas and everyone was just trying to be normal, just waiting for him, just waiting for Voldemort to come…  
He had imagined this moment for almost all of this year. Of course, parts of it were missing. He wasn't just gazing in peace at the lake, but in deep worry and she wasn't here. She being Ginny Weasley. Yes, Ginny had finally started to grow up and not be afraid of Harry. Now she had moved on in some ways, starting to like some guy in Hufflepuff. The only problem was…well, now, Harry had started liking HER. In some ways, he just wanted to be alone, but in others, he wanted her here. She wasn't like Ron or Hermione. She understood that sometimes you just needed to sit and think and not talk.   
"Harry?" he turned. The voice was soft, but belonged to Hermione.  
"Hey." He said, his voice soft and scratchy.  
"Harry, you can't just keep sitting out here every night. Maybe it's better you don't think about it."  
"If I don't, who will? We have to be prepared. I have to be prepared. And sometimes there are just things I can't…explain. There aren't…words." He forced out the last word. She knew what he was talking about. His parents.  
"You'll be fine, Harry. You can beat this. You've got Dumbledore, remember?"  
"I know, but what if it's like last time? What if it's unexpected? There's nothing Dumbledore or anyone can do for me then. And what if I'm not ready? What if-"  
"No more what ifs. I worry about you. We're only fifteen. Don't carry the world on your shoulders when you have the choice to lay it down."  
"I know, but I-"  
"Here, I brought you an apple from dinner. You didn't come again. How are you going to do anything, including study if you don't eat? You'll fail the exams."  
"Hermione, it isn't even Christmas."  
"You can never start preparing too early."  
A shadow of a smile appeared upon his face.   
"Made you smile." She nudged his arm playfully.  
"Almost." He said. He just stared at the apple, not eating it, but poking his fingernail into it, ruining it.  
She sighed, "You'll be alright, Harry. I know you. You will." She seemed to convince herself as much as he in saying this.  
"Before I would've been. But now," he gazed up at her, "I don't know-I just don't know."  
  
A/N: Okay, this is my first fic, so be gentle. Like it? Didn't like it? I wish I knew!! 


	2. Revenge and Candy

Once she was sure everyone had gone to bed, Lily crept down to the common room and sat on one of the big squishy armchairs next to the waning fire. She stared into for a moment or two, dimly remembering she hadn't done her homework and for the first time in history not even caring. She just felt like moping a great deal until she felt completely horrible and could cry some more.  
"You didn't come to dinner."  
The deep, rich voice seemed to vibrate the whole room and made Lily jump.  
"James!" she immediately turned red and stood stalk straight up, "I-I didn't hear you. James, I-I'm-"  
"Calm down!" he walked the rest of the way down the stairs and over to the couch and sat. He stared at her for a moment, "Lily, right?"  
"Lily? What about her? Oh, me, oh, yes, that's me." What kind of idiot was she, babbling on? He probably hated her.  
"Yeah, well, um…about today…sorry about Severus. He can be a real jerk sometimes."  
"I know." She was surprised how real and firm her voice was, "I'm sorry if it…embarrassed you."  
"Yeah, well…" his eyes seemed to dance a bit, "Sirius and Remus are going to get him back. They're upstairs plotting as we speak."  
"Well, good." She was surprised how normal her voice sounded. She was just barely shaking.  
"Yeah, well, I was wondering…do you, I mean, I know you do, but, well, this is kind of hard to say…" he drifted off. He wouldn't have the nerve to say it.  
"Like you?" she finished for him.  
"Yeah, that. Do-um, yeah."  
"Well, sorta-I mean, you're alright." She could feel her face going hot.  
"Well, um…that's all we wanted to know. Just proof. And maybe…we might need your help later on, alright?"  
"Okay." Was did he mean help? What were they plotting? She didn't have the nerve to ask. He might think she was a worrywart loser.  
"Cool then. See you around, then."  
  
Once Hermione had gotten him inside, Ron seemed oblivious to the fact Harry hadn't been eating, though had noticed he hadn't come to dinner.  
"You didn't come to dinner. What's wrong, Harry?" he asked as Hermione came back with Harry behind her, "And where'd you find him?"  
"At the lake. And you know perfectly well what's wrong." She exclaimed in a huff, sitting down.  
"Oh…" it seemed to come back to Ron, "right."  
"Sorry," Harry said gloomily, sitting down, "I know I haven't been in the best mood this year-"  
"It's alright, Harry, we understand. Don't apologize." Hermione patted his knee lightly.  
"Yeah, Harry, don't be thick, we're your friends, you can mope as much as you want with us." Ron answered through a mouthful of chocolate frog.  
"Did you just go to dinner?" Hermione gazed skeptically at Ron and the frog.  
"Oh, come off it, it's candy." Ron answered.  
"My parents don't believe in eating sweet unless you really, really want them."  
"Yeah, well, your parents are dentists." Ron muttered, "Game of chess, Harry?"  
"Not now," Harry smiled weakly, "I'll just sit here. You and Hermione can play."  
"Oh, no. I'm not playing that. It's silly and savage."  
"Whatever." Ron laughed, "You're just mad because I'm actually better than you at something."  
"That's quite enough. I think I'll go to bed." And that she did.  
  
James had talked to her. To her. She could hardly believe it. And she had acted half way normal and decent. But she couldn't help wondering what their big plan against Severus was. She decided, to make herself forget about it, that they were just being stupid little boys and pretending they were going to be big and bad and making up impossible plans and staying up all night laughing about it. How wrong she was.  
The next day, much to her and her only real true friend Doriane astonishment (of course, Dorian knew all about the night before and Lily and James), the three Musketeers-or should we say Stooges-sat down around them, Sirius next to Doriane, Remus across from Lily and James next to Lily.  
"Alright, here's the plan-" Sirius spilled out breathlessly. All three boys looked very excited and nervous and brilliant.  
"Plan? What plan?" Lily asked quickly.  
"The plan, the plan to get back at Severus." Remus answered, "James, I thought you told her last night."  
"I did." James looked at her, "You remember, right Lily?"  
He smelled so good, he'd obviously just taken a shower. It took her a minute, but she managed, "Oh…oh yeah."  
"See? I told you I told her." James inquired.  
"So what's the plan?" Doriane asked, not wanting to be left out.  
"Well, it'll only work if you go along with it Lily." Remus admitted quickly.  
"What?" she was a little alarmed. Usually the trio got in trouble and detention for their little schemes. Did she want to risk that?  
"Come on, Lily," James said, actually nudging her, "You've got to. We've got to get back at him, don't we?"  
"Yes," she nodded stupidly, "Of course."  
Doriane was breathless, "Oh, what? Please tell us!"  
"Well," Remus said, "We're going to give the git exactly what he wants. Lily, you and James have got to fake it."  
"It?" her heart pounded, "It what?"  
Remus and Sirius bursted into the laughter. James turned red and kept muttering, "Shut up, you guys, just shut up."  
"That's not…" Remus snickered, "what I meant."  
"What he means is, you guys do the usual couple thing." Sirius finished off, who seemed to have regained composure a little, though he was still grinning broadly, "Hold hands, walk around together, junk like that."  
"That stupid prat won't know what hit him." James put in.  
"Well I…" Lily looked at the boys. Was it a big joke on her? "I just don't know."  
"Come on, Lily," Doriane pushed, "You've got to do this!" her eyes told Lily, 'This is it. You wanted this, now take it.'  
And she did.  
"Sounds great. Let's fake it." Lily laughed.  
James slid an arm around her, "Lily. My dearest Lily."  
The boys all laughed, then got up.   
But they didn't leave.  
"Come on, Lily." Sirius exclaimed, "We've got to make this look real, haven't we?"  
"Oh. Come with you? Now?" she asked, "But…Doriane…"  
"She can come." Remus stated, "Now come on."  
"Well, alright." She said as Doriane quickly hopped up and joined the boys, "James, are you sure this is-"  
"Just call Muffin, darling." He laughed, his eyes joking with her, "Oh, come on, Lily. Lighten up. Who knows? This could be fun."  
  
  
Harry sat bolt upright in bed. He didn't know why, but he had awoken with a start. He breathed heavily for a moment or two, then climbed out of bed and over to the window.  
Ron and the others lay in a deep sleep. Harry wondered what had awoken him. He looked out at the grounds for a moment or two, got a drink and went back to bed. The next morning he remembered none of this.  
"Oh, this is just great."  
Harry and Ron paused on their way to breakfast to watch a struggling Hermione pack countless books into her tattered bag.  
"Hermione, I don't think all that's going to fit." Harry commented.  
"Think? That bag's about to bust. And so is your head unless you slow down!" Ron exclaimed.  
"Oh Ron," Hermione said impatiently, but disregarded her comment and sighed, "Let's go to breakfast."  
"Only morning and she's already huffing." Ron muttered.  
"Ron!" Hermione had obviously heard him.  
Harry ignored them unlike usually when he watched in interest at their small rows and bickers, which he found kind of amusing. Instead he was scanning the crowd for a little red plot of bouncing curls. And he found it, sitting down at the Gyffindor table alone with a book in front of her, breakfast forgotten.  
"Hey, let's sit with Ginny. Guys?" Harry looked behind him, but Hermione bag had, indeed, busted and Ron was helping her picking up the scattered contents.  
Harry weighed helping them and taking the empty seat across from the lonely Ginny Weasley. It was so tempting. He wanted to go badly, but what would Ron say? Or everyone in Gyffindor for that matter? He had an idea that Hermione already knew, but would all of Gryffindor understand like her? He doubted it.  
"Ginny?" he walked over quickly before his nerve could get the best of him, "Um…are you-is anyone-"  
"Oh, hey Harry. Sure, go ahead and sit."  
"Okay." He sat down, looking back nervously. Ron and Hermione had headed back to the common room to retrieve Hermione old even more beat up bag.  
"Um…what're you reading?" Harry asked.  
"Hmm?" she looked up from her book, "Oh, we've got a nasty Potions quiz today. Studying a bit extra, I suppose."  
That hair. Harry couldn't stop staring at her. Then thoughts like, 'Stupid' started coming into his head and he immediately looked down at his hands.  
"Harry? Are you alright? You look sort of…nervous. You guys have a test today, too, don't you?"  
"What? Oh, oh yeah. Uh-huh." Why was this so hard? Because she doesn't like me anyway.  
"Well, I'd better go. I think Ron and Hermione left me." He stood up to go.  
"Harry? There's something I-I needed to-"  
"What?" he asked way to fast.  
"Well, you've got to promise not to tell Ron."  
"What?" It couldn't be. She liked the Hufflepuff kid, right? Right??  
"Well, Danny Shrinks, you know, from Hufflepuff, well, I think he might…ask me out."  
"Oh." Harry muttered, then shoved his hands in his pockets, "Oh. I mean, uh, congratulation and…stuff."  
"Yeah, just don't tell Ron or I'll have the devil to pay. Oh, Harry, I can't believe it! But I guess I sound pretty stupid, huh? You probably don't understand. You're so busy with Quidditch and all you probably don't have time for…for girls and…stuff."  
"Yeah. Yeah. Well, I better go. Good luck with, um, whoever."  
"Thanks Harry." And she resumed to her studying of Potions.  
Harry's cheeks flamed in spite of himself as he walked out of the Great Hall. How stupid must he of sounded? She probably said that as a hint for him to go away. And he had time. He had plenty of time to gaze at the chalkboard in class without actually seeing the board at all. Plenty of time to sit there and daydream about, well, her.   
But not anymore. No. He didn't like her. He'd have to find someone else. Cho. She was nice. But she wasn't…she wasn't…whatever Ginny was that he couldn't explain. No, she was. Was he arguing with himself? He wasn't sure. Either way, it was going to be a long year. 


End file.
